My Masturbation Journey

Masturbation, for me, like many people, was a shady affair filled with guilt and worry. Hidden under the bedcovers or locked in the bathroom. Coming from a large family of five sisters, this invariably included the disruption of constant banging on the bathroom door with the attendant shouts of ‘Hurry up in there. What are you doing?’

But I always loved masturbating. My first real memory of masturbating outside of the home was with a friend, under a disused drum dumped in, what we thought was, a disused wood. It turns out it wasn’t so disused after all, and we were watched playing with ourselves and one another.

Coming from the great underprivileged class, I was sent away to a stately home, as a holiday I seem to remember them describing it, where we were beat up and forced to play football and do other manly things. This was my first real experience of group masturbation. As a dormitory leader I was allowed to stay up later to watch TV. All the dorm-leaders would sit around in a semi-circle and wank-off, hoping not to be caught by the staff.

As I grew, I masturbated in cruising grounds, saunas, on the bus, and just about anywhere else I could do it. Even during my long-term relationship masturbation was an integral part. We would masturbate together in gay bars, clubs, on holiday and on the train. You get the picture. On reflection this was a mechanism for us, within a monogamous relationship, to have a little thrill without shifting to an open relationship neither of us could have managed at the time. But that changed.

And so, coming to tantra hasn’t shifted my love of masturbation, what it has done is elevated it to a new dimension. I have lost the lingering guilt, the need to hide under the bedcovers or in the toilet, and the need for fleeting exposures. I have integrated masturbation into my spiritual journey, especially in relation to lifting and distributing the sexual energy throughout the chakras.

This has given me a true appreciation of and confidence in my masturbatory practices, allowing me access to multi-orgasmic experiences, ecstatic moments, and more so, to blissful journeys through a doorway I had never previously known existed.

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Email me direct if you are interested in mindful, trauma-informed, intimacy or spiritual coaching, or if you would like to join my new Pink Tantra Towards Awakening group for chat rooms, video channels and in-person workshops around tantra and intimacy practices robert.pinktantra@gmail.com

See my personal development / personality profiling book DISCover the Power of You published through John Hunt Publishing Ltd, 2017. ISBN: 978-1-78535-591-2

And for a bit of light reading, see my first historical fictional novel Fermented Spirits published through Austin Macauley Publishers, 2022. ISBN-13: ‎978-1398437159