Why do we perform rituals?
Rituals are designed to give us an opportunity to cross a threshold, using a specific roadmap, thereby giving us a sense of security as we experience something new, and an anchor to remind us of that experience and any underlying truth associated with the experience, we can so easily forget in our day-to-day life.
I was asked the other day by one of the members in our community, Tantra Yoga 4 men-who-love-men why we perform rituals.
A key element of rituals is having a safe container where we can connect to something bigger, something outside of ourself. This is why community is of such importance. It is only in a safe community that we can shift from, what is called, instrumental to receptive cognition. That is, where we let go of our boundaries between ourself and the other, allowing a sense of connectedness, diminishing the hold of the self.
Once this happens altered states and mystical experiences are easier to sink into. This is often called, sinking into the flow; of joyous and creative involvement in the practice. The more we truly engage with the practice the easier it is to let go of feelings of anxiety and self-consciousness. This is one of the reasons I keep going on and on about engagement. Without active engagement we merely tinker around the edges and never experience true depth.
The idea is to have enough of these ritual experiences to remind us of the path we are on, not to give up, or to loose our way. Rituals therefore need to be continuous. This is one of the main reasons we do, in our community, our ritualised Sunday Tantra Yoga sessions continuously incorporating the Ritual of Undressing.
Another reason for doing the Ritual of Undressing, something else I keep reiterating, is the need to connect to the body, so we can then better disconnect from it. It is the loss of body awareness that really allows us to sink deep into our meditative state (meditation being a main form of ritual). We shift from the mental to the physical, transcending both, coming to sense something else (the gap, spaciousness, timelessness). This in turn allows us to experience deep emotions (of calm, peace, joy, bliss).
This all sounds great (at least to me) but what is it we, ourselves, need to develop, to make this all happen?
1. First, we need a sense of security from which to explore (a safe community, and a sense of curiosity, as Buddhists say, having a beginners mind).
2. This will then allow us to start to relax and trust the community, the process, the practice, and ourself.
3. Alongside this, we need to develop the ability to acknowledge and tolerate both positive and negative emotions. Spirituality is not about only allowing in the positive; this is spiritual bypassing. And a large part of the spiritual journey is the cleansing (healing) aspect.
4. And we have to learn to accept the impermanence of everything (you, me, the experience, everything). This way we don’t chase after the experience, or try to hold on to it; we simple have it and let it go.
5. We must be willing to self-reflect as an ongoing practice (hence why I talk so much about self-enquiry). Without this willingness for self-reflection we can’t progress our self-awareness.
6. This then allows us to notice our reactions to obstacles; coming to see them as simply part of life and the process without taking them personally.
Once we have developed these areas we are more likely to experience moments of, what is called transliminality; altered states and mystical experiences. Out of these experiences will come a sense of knowing, called noetic knowing. This is not academic, intellectual, or rational. It is knowing through direct experience, where we suddenly know something intuitively that was previously unknown.
From here the self becomes ‘looser’, our boundaries become fluid, and we begin to experience feelings of ecstasy and rapture. Resulting in the experience of oneness.
Bringing it all together
In my forthcoming book, Tantra Yoga – The Dance of Shiva, I speak at greater length about rituals and meditation, amongst many other things. Rituals and Meditations are extremely important to bring about experiences that cement us to the path and allowing us to sink deeper and deeper into the flow of the universe. This in turn progressively brings about a sense of ease, peace, joy and bliss.
Peace. Peace. Peace.
Shanti. Shanti. Shanti.
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Look out for my NEW book Tantra Yoga - The Dance of Shiva, to be published through Collective Ink, late August 2026